What Not to Say When a Client Shares Their Crisis

Learn about the critical behaviors therapists should avoid when listening to a client’s crisis. Discover why phrases like 'go on' may undermine the therapeutic relationship and explore more empathetic responses.

Understanding Empathy in Counseling

When a new client walks into your office, they’re often carrying the weight of their story—a story that could be filled with heartache, fear, or uncertainty. The way a therapist responds to that initial sharing can significantly shape the therapeutic relationship. You might be wondering, what’s the right approach?

The Power of Listening

First things first: active listening. This isn’t just a professional term—it’s a foundational element of effective therapy. Have you ever tried to share something deeply personal, only to feel like the other person wasn't truly hearing you? It’s tough, right?

Well, when clients dive deep into their crises, it’s crucial for therapists to refrain from interrupting. This means letting the client express their feelings without rushing or redirecting their focus. Think about it: when you’re sharing something heavy, every interruption feels like a bump on the road of your emotional journey. It’s jarring and can even lead to feelings of being invalidated.

The Danger of Encouragement Phrases

Now, here’s something that might surprise you: using phrases like "go on" or "um-hum" while someone is opening up may not be the encouraging tools you think they are. You might feel like you’re being supportive, might even think that you’re inviting more sharing, but these phrases can easily come off as dismissive or insincere.

Imagine you’re sharing news about your sick pet, and someone just keeps chiming in with "uh-huhs." It can feel like they’re zoning out. Similarly, when clients feel their narrative is being diluted with casual prompts, they could pull back, thinking their experience is less important than the therapist’s need for engagement.

Silent Encouragement: The Lesser-Known Gem

So, what should we replace those phrases with? Enter silent encouragement. With a simple nod of the head or a warm smile, you can communicate that you're fully present and engaged. It may seem subtle, but these non-verbal cues are like a warm hug—supportive yet powerful. Not to mention, they help in building trust. Trust is essential in a therapeutic relationship, fostering a safe space for clients to share their thoughts and feelings.

The same goes for maintaining an attentive posture. Leaning slightly forward, keeping your arms uncrossed, and maintaining eye contact—all of this demonstrates that you’re fully invested in what the client has to say. It’s like telling them, "I’m here for you."

Nodding: A Simple but Effective Tool

You might be asking, why is nodding important? Well, it’s not just about agreeing; rather, it's a way to affirm a client’s feelings without inflammation or interruption. It allows the client to express their narrative freely and reinforces their vulnerability, which is critical in therapy.

By nodding and acknowledging their emotional experience, you communicate that their feelings are valid and important. This little gesture can go a long way in establishing a space where clients feel understood and valued.

Bringing It All Together

Ultimately, therapy is about connection. It’s about truly being there for someone as they navigate their emotional landscape. By avoiding certain phrases and opting for more empathetic responses—like refraining from interruptions, using silent encouragement, and validating through non-verbal cues—you’re not just fostering a deeper connection; you’re enriching the therapeutic process.

Let’s wrap this up with a thought: what would happen if we all listened a bit more and spoke a bit less? Maybe, just maybe, we’d find ourselves forming deeper connections and offering profound healings. So, next time you’re in a session, remember: being fully present can transform the narrative. Happy counseling!


Feel free to explore various techniques and guidance surrounding counseling and communication to further enhance your skills. Remember, every interaction is a learning opportunity!

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